Well, Its Done!

Well, it's done! My Master's Degree is complete. I turned my last paper in Thursday after my final final exam. I got my grades back and they passed me. I'm just waiting on the diploma.

Now what? I have 4 weeks off and then I get a real job. I am going to use that time to develop a business plan to open a private practice with a friend and fellow graduate and start my life.

My final GPA: 3.328.

Ghetto Quoteboard

For those of you who remember, here they are. For those of you who don't, I'm not going to explain it. In no particular order, with comments as necessary for prosperity (punctuation as on the quoteboard)...

"You guys live in the ghetto!" -Katie Wisniewski (originator of the Ghetto)

"Kick 'em in the nuts and walk away." - Denae

"Good Ghandi" - Denae

"I feel so bad. You guys shouldn't have to live here." - DC Maintenance man

"Wow, you look big from here" - Kelly to Carol, 1.5 inches away.

"I need to move my Bible out of the middle of the floor — its being a stumbling block" - Sarah W

"Will you leave my mouth alone?" - Carol Hiner

"The garbage disposal is vomiting!!!" - Denae Wittmeier

"Our insides match!" - Sarah when she discovered the similarity between Carol's and her dress

"I have to get out of this chair: its making me dizzy!" Sarah

"Where do they expect you to sleep?" - Dad Wisniewski

"I wanna be a girl!!!" - Kelly

"This place isn't so bad. I wouldn't live there, but it's not so bad." - Anonymous

"Yay God!" - Denae after small and large demonstrations of God's greatness

"...Thingie..." - Sarah about anything.

"Most of us were not us for most of our life. Were you-you? I wasn't me!" said by Carol as Sarah shakes her head

"Do you have smoke detectors?" - Mom Helms

"Oh shit! This hurts like the Devil." - Denae when getting her finger caught in the garage door

"Its the ghetto~I can't take a shower in the ghetto!" - Kelly

"Let's go for it baby...I need some orange juice!" - Denae t-ed off (BIG TIME)

"I'm such a spaz" - Denae

"Now is not the time to be conservative, you're wearing a bed sheet!" - Kelly Helms

"Sioux Center has a ghetto?!" - Dr Veenstra

"For the next time you girls burn something on the stove" - Mom Helms

"I'm talking to myself and I don't know how I'm going to respond!!!" - Kelly panicking about working too much; upon being informed that the leak would be fixed

"What just happened here?" - Carol. "An act of God" - Denae.

"That person got bit by two penguins! How lucky can one person get?!" - Sarah W. Who else?

"Look at us - all sitting around crocheting and reading like a bunch of old maids. We could be the Golden Girls!" (i.e. us when we're 90). - Denae

"Who needs TV for entertainment? We have Kelly!" - Carol

"The ghetto doesn't have ghetto sauce? I'm confused" - Kelly

"They expect you guys to live here??" - Dad Wisniewski

"That's ridiculous!" - Carol and Denae on boys

"Dial 8! Dial 8!" - Carol waking up to a fire next door (Sept 11, 2001; approx. 45 minutes before the towers were hit)

"In the ghetto, we need all the safety measures we can get." - Kelly

"I'm scared to use your bathroom. I've been holding it all morning." - Mom Wittmeier

"Oh goodness, I just made some trouble." - Denae breaking the blinds

"You guys live on the wrong side of the tracks." - Josiah Murphy

"You know you've made yourself at home when you can bring over the tea kettle" - Sarah

"Wanna hear a funny story?" - Denae

"Hey check this out!" - Kelly; "I don't wanna check that out!" - Carol (about a strap/strapless bra)

"We're paying how much for this?" - Carol

"I'm a bad influence on myself" - Kelly in a struck tone

"I can't tell what persons are anymore!" - Carol how you can tell she's been proofreading too much

"I've lost my owner's manual. I don't know how to operate myself!" - Sarah (she did find it moments later)

"Oh Denae changed her head." - Kelly

"Fire! Fire! What do I do? - Kelly reacting to the pan melting on the stove

"I actually feel clean today! I took a shower in the other apartment." - Sarah

"I just wanna be the syrup" - Denae

"I find philosophy really easy. you make some statement that you don't fully understand and everyone else does then, five minutes later, you get it." - Kelly

"Oh I guess your hair does feel jelly" - Kelly to David Hjelle after Denae put gel in his hair

"No offense, but your apartment is kinda crappy." - Matt Hilbelink

"Did you steal all the sleep I didn't get?" - Sarah

"There's a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. T'would be a pity to damage yours." Wesley; Princess Bride.

There you go. In memory of all the good times and in forgetting all Manicotti.

Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive Dissonance is the concept in which there are two thought pattens that do not coincide and yet one is working to replace a dysfunctional one with a more functional one. Such as a juvenile offender moving towards a life without crime: there is a dissonance between the thoughts he once had and the ones he needs to have to reform.

So I'm experiencing that. I have 12 days left and once again my college/university days will be behind me. I'm ambivalent. But I'm also having a bit of trouble figuring out why people talk as if getting a Masters is sort of an exclusive club. I understand that it takes work to achieve this level of education, but really, they talk about it as if it's like the honor roll. I've never been smart enough or able enough to actually be listed on any sort of honor roll!

Grad School (let's specify my Masters), my Master's Program, felt easier than college. If you look at my grades, you would agree with me. I graduated college with a 2.89GPA and as it sits, one semester shy of completion, my Masters GPA is 3.12 (I am expecting two A's, one C+, and a B I think this semester so it should go up a bit). And to boot, I have also achieved the Dean's List one semester. How does that happen? I hardly seemed to break a sweat most semesters (we'll all not count Fall Semester 2009...we're just thankful that is over) and I actually did ALL my reading except the reserves for Systematic Theology 1 and 3. I also read at least one extra book (one not counted in anyway for my Masters), generally speaking a novel but some non-fictions, a semester for the past three or four terms (I read two this semester: Screwtape Letters and The Count of Monte Cristo).

Its not to say that I'm not proud of myself or anything like that but many of my fb-friends have expressed how proud of me they are and although I'm extremely grateful to have friends that encourage the crap out of me (thanks Denae, you were probably the one that got me through that Fall Semester...remember the 12 papers, 12 reading assignments, 1 presentation, 3 -or 4- exams, one final project, and 30 days to do it?) I'm just not sure all the pomp-and-circumstance is not overkill. I just want to say, it didn't take that much work. I, for the first time in my life, not only breezed through school, I also thoroughly enjoyed it and don't want it to stop.

So for all of my wonderful cheerleaders out there: THANK YOU SO MUCH!! In 12 days, I graduate and my free advice stops. (Sorry, my prof told me that was a liability.)

Pumpkin Pie and Shell...From Pumpkin, NOT A Can

My first Thanksgiving in Fiji (about two or three weeks after I arrived) was definitely one of thankfulness. I had been warmly received, had started budding new friendships, and had found out that no one else except me (and one other American I had met) had EVER tasted turkey. It was time for Thanksgiving. My one American friend knew how to cook a turkey and make great stuffing and I had brought with me a cookbook called "Cooking from Scratch Overseas" which had all the other ingredients and recipes for the rest of the meal (along with ketchup, laundry detergent, play doh, deodorant, and shampoo among other things). Mind you, the recipes were written for those who have very few modern convenient kitchen things and it may seem like its the 'long way around', I've let you know what I did in diversion from the recipe. So here goes: the recipe to Kelly's very first pumpkin pie, from a real, fresh pumpkin and not a can.

Pie Crust (if you don't have one already):

2.5 c flour

3/4 c shortening

1 tsp salt (I generally skip this)

*5 tbsp cold water (if flour is heavy, it may take more water, I recently ended up using seven or eight tbsp).

Mix flour and salt. Cut shortening with two knives or food processor using plastic blade until mixture forms pea-sized lumps. Sprinkle water a tablespoon at a time over the flour; mix with a knife until lumps begin to stick together. Press the mixture into a ball. do not knead dough. Put on slightly floured board. Flatten ball and roll out. Makes 1 two-crust pie, 9 inch (I used it as a 1 - one crust pie crust and it was fine)

3- Step Pumpkin Pie (and mind you, this is the best pumpkin pie recipe I have ever had; ** to ** means I diverted from the recipe and this is what I did):

1.5 c cooked pumpkin (instructions below)

3/4 c sugar

1/4 tsp nutmeg

1/2 tsp cloves

1/2 tsp ginger

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp salt (I skipped this and it was fine)

3 eggs

1.25 c milk

1 (6oz) can evaporated milk OR 3/4 c rich top milk

1 unbaked pie shell (above)

Preheat oven to 400 F

FIRST STEP: Wash pieces of fresh pumpkin (scrape out seeds and soft pumpkin around seeds) or squash and place, unreeled, in pressure cooker with rack in the bottom. Put in water even with the rack and pressure for 10-12 minutes. it is much easier to peel cooked pumpkin or hard squash after cooking. **I do not have a pressure cooker nor have ever used one, I used a large/deep pot, cut up the pumpkin into smaller pieces and cooked it like a potato: boiled it until it was soft and tender, drained it, put it in a strainer mashed it with a potato masher after peeling it (I don't think it would be wise to use a hand mixer, it takes little effort to mash it), and then measured it out. I got 4 pies out of my pumpkin.**

SECOND STEP: Place cooked pumpkin in a colander to drain and cool. Drain mashed pumpkin in a colander for several hours. Excess liquid drains out and you will be left with a thick pumpkin puree perfect for any pie or pudding recipe. The drained-out liquid and add it to soups and stews or use it as the liquid in baked goods, since it should be rich in vitamins. Peel the pieces and cut into smaller sizes to press into a measuring cup. Put the milks, measured pumpkin, sugar, salt, and spices into the blender jar and turn on to "mix" for a few minutes. Open the lid and add the unbeaten eggs; blend everything together well. **Instead of waiting several hours, when I mashed the pumpkin into the puree, it naturally drained. I had peeled off the skin of the pumpkin with a knife (it was too hot to do it by hand) and by the time I had finished that and mashed it, it was fine. This works just the same if you do not have the time/desire to wait several hours**

STEP THREE: Pour into unbaked pie shell and bake at 400 F about 50 minutes or until a knife blade inserted into the center comes out without the mixture sticking to it. The pie may seem a little soft, but it will set as it cools. This makes a deep pie with plenty of custard or larger more shallow one. Serve with toppings if desired!

Fresh pumpkin can also be cut in half and baked in the oven at 325 F for about an hour or until insides are soft. scrape out the pulp and put in the blender with the other ingredients. You could cook it in the microwave oven too.

The color of the pie is lighter than if you use a canned pumpkin - just to warn you, you didn't do it wrong, it just looks a little different. I hope you enjoy it all!!

Nostalgia

I went through some old mementos from my days at YFC (both WOO — World Outreach Office — and YFCGR — Youth for Christ Grand Rapids) and I ran across my stack of letters.

My stack of letters is roughly 4 to 5 inches tall sorted by the girl who wrote them and year. Stuffed into the mix were "LifeChange" one-page blurbs about how a girls life had change through the ministry and were meant to be posted at fundraisers. I am still in awe about how God has worked.

So many girls.

After briefly looking at certain ones, I laid on the floor to do my sit-ups (all 240 of them, working all abdominal muscles in rotating fashion...upper, side, lower and then girly push-ups incase you're wondering) and I realized that God had shown mercy on me when He prompted me to pull these out for the first time tonight...nearly two years later.

I don't think they conveyed the impact all those donor-dollars (nearly $180,000 in the five years with YFC). I read them now and I am privileged to not be so close to the situation that I can understand it from an outsider's perspective and yet I still have vivid memories of the day I was fortunate enough to receive those letters. I see both sides of the story.

There is incredible intensity in the words of those letters. I sit here and absorb it and lingering next to these memories is the day I cried in the Cornerstone Library over the loss of never receiving another one. I literally wept while chatting on Facebook to a friend who could have been a million miles away but was close enough to put her hand on my shoulders and say, "I hope everything is okay" as she clung to her backpack and walked out the door. Thank you Rita for sitting in Ithica, NY speaking to me and thank you to the unnamed CU student for walking out the library at just that moment. That was the moment, I was mercifully blinded to the intensity of those words in the letters until now.

God has shielded us from most of the intensity of the balance the lives around us. This is intensity captured also in one letter a donor wrote to me days after surgery where he was shown the mercy of being able to receive life from another. Intensity captured by a young girl on the humble shores of a distant island who was shown greatness in the ordinary. Intensity being revealed in an office across town to a woman to whom she trusted in God to heal, and he did. Intensity brought on by a life in crisis that is unfolding in an uncontrollable and unpredictable pattern that most likely will lead to abandonment.

We cannot sit knowing what we know, fellow Christians, and if there is one thing that I want to impress upon you, is that this intensity that we see is, in actuality, only a twinkle of the intensity we cannot see.

Expectations

My pastor tells a story of expectations. He preached in a small church in South Dakota before he came to us and the community at one point had been going through a drought. They had called together a prayer service in order to call upon God to send rains. He tells that story with a bit of regret saying that he should have been the first to bring an umbrella. No one brought an umbrella.

Why do we continue to pray for rain but lack the sense to bring an umbrella? Do we really think that God would not send us his blessing? Perhaps he doesn't because we are not expecting him to. He therefore, would not be disappointing us, we disappoint ourselves.

I am no better. I have continued to struggle with the whole aspect of prayer: praying with the un-hope hope this world so generously gives instead of the hope that God has already fulfilled. I need to pray with the expectation that the rain has already fallen, that the earth has already flourished: not that it will come, or that it is well on its way, I need to pray that the things that are not are in deed already.

Anything less is not prayer. Anything less is talking to a hole in the wall.

That is the blind seeing, the deaf hearing, the lame walking, and the dead living.

That is courage. That is prayer.

Good-Bye Letters

Those of you who know (perhaps intimately) what I do, know and understand that I do not have the emotional energy or the time to write everyone I say good-bye to a little note of encouragement, inspiration, or just tacky and polite well wishes (the later being ones that seem fake and are often insensitive). Needless to say, I have a lot of hellos and goodbyes in both my lines of work.

But I took the time and, in recent months, the energy to write one this past weekend. ...Recent months because it is then that the energy gets built up because it is then that warrants notes of this caliber to be written.

I didn't sign it. That was the collaboration of years of building up. See I once took credit for the impact I made in someones life and for the 18 to 24 months that passed after that moment in time, I was miserable. In fact, all people around me were probably miserable with me and as a life-long lingering affect, one of those people no longer speak to me...9 years later. (I can now name several people who are thinking about this point in my life...I'll give you a moment to ponder).

So this luck recipient of this nameless good-bye letter approached me, in a joking manner, and I humored that attitude of gratitude with the response that it may be nice now and iconic later, but the words that were shared in that letter did not warrant a name being attributed to it. That one day, years down the road they hopefully will not be my words but will be left as a mark in the life of this person by the ONE who could care more than I could, and the ONE that would (hopefully) be a relationship this person maintains infinitely longer than I could ever imagine being in that persons life.

Therefore, I left it nameless. I can no longer take credit for things I do not do, words I do not have, and wisdom that is far beyond my ability to comprehend, understand, or dole out. It is nameless, at least, left without my name, in the hope that if this person would keep that letter for years, decades, to come, the Author would be notably thanked countless times daily and that I could go on, nameless, creditless, and in everlasting debt only.

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